Baby reindeer Creator Richard Gadd said filming the fourth episode of the drama was difficult not only for him but for the entire crew.

Speaking at the DGA Theater Complex at Netflix’s FYC screening and panel discussion of the miniseries on Tuesday night, where he spoke alongside actors Jessica Gunning and Nava Mau, director Weronika Tofilska and editor Peter Oliver, Gadd described how he entered an “obsessive phase” while writing the series and the toll filming his sexual assault took on him and the crew.

“We closed the set, but when I looked over you could see the prop people wiping tears from their eyes as they put the props back in place,” Gadd recalled filming Episode 4, which graphically depicts sexual violence when Donny is instigated and later abused by an older and successful television writer he meets at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

“The show was based on such trauma that it was a huge, difficult thing for everyone on set at times. And that’s why I think everyone had so much respect for everything. I was lucky to have this amazing team who felt it with me in many ways.”

“I never wanted to lie,” he said about writing the series.

“I had to constantly check myself and say, ‘Does this feel truthful to me in terms of my experience from beginning to end?’ And if it didn’t, I had to take it back.”

Gadd, 34, plays the lead role in the Netflix series, which is based on his real-life experiences with stalking and sexual abuse.

Baby reindeer follows unsuccessful comedian Donny Dunn, played by Gadd, who is relentlessly harassed and stalked by Martha Scott, played by Jessica Gunning, for four and a half years.

In a subplot, Dunn is groomed and raped by an older man named Darrian, played by Tom Goodman-Hill, who works in comedy. Similar things happened to Gadd in real life, which was the subject of the fourth episode.

Since the seven-part show was released on April 11, it has spread like word of mouth and shot to the top of the streaming service’s most-watched charts without much advertising.

Netflix has now submitted Baby reindeer to the Emmy Awards in the category “Best Miniseries” and Gadd as best actor and best writer.

Gadd previously spoke about the charity We Are Survivors and thanked them for their years of support.

“Sometimes I talk to male survivors, and I’m not a counselor or a professional, but the first piece of advice is: break the silence. Talk to someone, and if that’s too scary, just write it down, process it into something. Because I think the more you let out, the smaller it gets,” he said. The Guardian.

On the panel, Gunning again mentioned the charity, which works with male and non-binary victims of sexual abuse, rape and sexual exploitation across Greater Manchester. She said it had seen a 200 per cent increase in the number of people seeking support, with 60 per cent saying Baby reindeer was the reason for their contact.

“It’s not a simple, buttoned-up story,” Gunning said.

“It doesn’t all get resolved in the end. I think it’s messy, like life. Their dynamic is complicated and he’s really honest about it. That’s so refreshing to see. The response to it shows that audiences are really hungry for it. Hungry for honest, messy storytelling.”

Many have praised Gunning’s sensitive portrayal of Scott, including The IndependentNick Hilton, chief critic of the series, said in his four-star review of the show: “Gunning’s portrayal of Martha adds another layer of ambiguity: sometimes she is vicious, sometimes vulnerable, but she is always a compelling presence in his life and on the screen.”

Baby reindeer is now streaming on Netflix.

Rape Crisis provides support for victims of rape and sexual abuse. You can call them on 0808 802 9999 in England and Wales, 0808 801 0302 in Scotland and 0800 0246 991 in Northern Ireland or visit their website at www.rapecrisis.org.uk.

If you are in the US, you can call Rainn at 800-656-HOPE (4673).