People talk a lot about self-care. And while it’s important to look after our mental health, treat ourselves, and be kind to ourselves, some trends have gone too far. So Redditor u/kendraxquinn asked, “What popular self-care trend is actually harmful?” Here’s what people had to say on the topic.

1.“Only do things that feel good or bring you joy. Sometimes, for your long-term health and future, you have to do things that aren’t great fun.”

2.“Radical selfishness to the point that you believe you will never have to compromise, make sacrifices, endure inconvenience, or have an imperfect interaction with anyone.”

—u/St-Nobody

3.“Therapy terms (and therapy language in general) are weaponized. People parrot them without really understanding them, and suddenly they’re misused and misunderstood everywhere. Words like ‘triggered’ and ‘boundaries’ drive me crazy. They both mean something meaningful and important, but they don’t mean what they’ve become all over the internet.”

4.“To have such a high opinion of oneself that constructive criticism seems hateful.”

—u/HeartonSleeve1989

5.“Insisting that self-care must be lonely and cost money. For most people, the self-care they need is quality time with friends, family and community, not buying some crap to smear on their face while they’re alone in the tub. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an introvert and alone time keeps me sane, but I don’t know that I’ve ever seen people celebrate ‘self-care’ as something social.”

6.“Avoid difficult conversations in the name of positive vibes.”

—u/sad_boi_jazz

7.“Diet culture. Carbs are not bad for you. Gluten is not bad for you. Calories are not bad. Dairy is not bad for you. Grains are not bad for you. Sugar is not bad for you. With all this diet culture, people no longer know what a healthy, balanced diet looks like. Eat a mix of foods, mostly unprocessed, and don’t punish yourself for indulging in the occasional piece of cake. Forcing yourself to have better habits through hatred doesn’t work.”

8.“Loving yourself ‘no matter what’ can be bad for you. Sometimes you’re just wrong and you need to change.”

—u/Adumbidiotface

9.“Too much retail therapy/’small reward’ culture. Sometimes it’s all well and good to buy yourself something nice or give yourself a small reward because you did something great or had a bad day. You can’t deny yourself something all the time. But there’s a fine line between ‘I had a bad day, have to go to Starbucks/give in and buy what I was looking for’ and drinking coffee every day and having a constant stream of Amazon boxes full of knick-knacks you don’t really want coming into your house. I’ve seen people put themselves in a bad financial position or become borderline hoarders because ‘I deserve a small reward’ but that’s literally every day.”

10.“Neglecting sleep to get ahead in school or at work. Not getting enough sleep will catch up with you.”

—u/DangerzonePlane8

11.Any kind of ‘cleansing’. That’s what your liver and kidneys do.”

12.“Let your kids have beauty routines. Nine-year-olds don’t need to exfoliate, use night cream and day serum, and beg their moms to spend $50 on special face potions and silk pillowcases. Give them sunscreen and a big hat and keep them off social media.”

13.“Every fad diet ever.”

14.“The blatant selfishness I’ve seen under the guise of ‘protecting your boundaries.’ Boundaries are important, but sometimes you should show up even when you’re not in the best mood. Sometimes you should do the favor without keeping score. And sometimes you should have the uncomfortable conversation even though you’d rather bury your head in the sand to protect your peace.”

—u/ikbenlauren

15.“Productivity as a sense of self-worth and a constant pursuit of efficiency. It starts to feel more like an obligation than self-care. There is so much pressure to optimize and it IS toxic.”

16.“Toxic positivity and the idea that your own thinking is the cause of all your difficulties. Just think positive and all your problems will go away. If that’s not the case, you’re not thinking positive enough. And now people who are going through real difficulties and can’t find any or no easy solutions feel a huge amount of guilt on top of that.”

—u/onesmilematters

17.“The belief that you have to love yourself before anyone else will love you. I hate this because it seems to imply that people who struggle with self-esteem cannot be loved and that it is their fault. After all, you only have to love yourself so that others can love you, right? We can’t always love ourselves; that doesn’t mean we are any less deserving of love.”

18.“The whole ‘Fuck what people think’ thing. I’ve come to the conclusion that the advice should be taken as ‘Fuck what other people think of you, but fuck how you make other people feel.'”

—u/imacomputr

19.“Mommy, wine/liquor culture! Having multiple drinks every night should not be a way to relieve stress and take care of yourself.”

20.“This constant pressure to always look on the bright side and be positive no matter what. A friend of mine was going through a really tough time and every time she tried to talk about her feelings, people just told her to ‘stay positive’ or ‘see the bright side’ instead of helping her. Sometimes it’s OK to be down and talk about it because forced positivity can make things worse.”

—u/Peachy_Sofie

21.“The overuse of Botox, fillers, lip injections, using tons of facial products and makeup with toxic ingredients. Ladies, let your skin breathe! Stop contouring your face every damn day, you don’t need it. Save that for going out, not just sitting at home making TikToks and taking selfies.”

Do you have something to add? Which popular self-care trend has gone too far and could even be considered harmful? Tell us in the comments or write it in this anonymous form.

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.