I call the last round for fragile male egos in the pub

I call the last round for fragile male egos in the pub

Emmie in a seaside bar at sunset, with a pint in her hand

It is exhausting to be a woman in a bar – or anywhere where beer is served (Image: Emmie Harrison-West)

I often wonder what it’s like as a man to go to a bar and order a beer.

It must be So simply.

I imagine it would be nice not to have other men put their arms around your waist and literally push you out of the way, or bar staff pretending you don’t exist and reluctantly serving you after another guy (even if you got there before them).

I wonder if men are judged by their bodies or looks. When they get the same raised eyebrows and smirks I get when I ask for a beer rather than a wine, cocktail or pink fizz, people assume I’m ordering it based solely on my seemingly stereotypically feminine features.

I wonder if men get unsolicited comments about what they order or are told how many calories the food contains.

When they are addressed as “darling”, “baby” or another bird-related pet name and are told that they may not like it. That it is strong, too hoppy, too expensive, too anything for them to possibly enjoy as a woman.

All of these things have happened to me (and still happen) as a beer drinker – and I’m tired of it. So tired that I constantly ask myself if it’s even worth drinking beer.

To be honest, being in a bar – or anywhere where beer is served: pubs, clubs, bars, beer festivals or restaurants – is tiring for a woman most of the time.

When you question and assume something as simple as what you want to drink based on the way a person looks or their voice, that’s ridiculous.

Emmie at a table in a bar/at an event, with a beer in her hand

I wonder if men get the same grin as I do when I ask for a beer (Image: Emmie Harrison-West)

Not surprisingly, according to a recent report by the campaign group Dea Latis (ironically named after the Celtic goddess of beer and water), Women are drinking less beer than ever before – and I can hardly blame them.

The report, The Gender Pint Gap: Revisited, is the first of its kind – and has shocking results. It turns out that fewer women are drinking beer since the first report in 2018 – blamed on male-targeted advertising, potential weight gain and fear of being judged by others.

Apparently, only 14% of women drink beer weekly (compared to 50% of men), a decline of 3% in six years.

A whopping 82% of women surveyed strongly or somewhat agreed that beer advertising is aimed at men – while three-quarters of men thought so too. Just take a look in the drinks section of a supermarket to see silver, blue and grey tones commonly marketed to men.

Emmie in a busy restaurant, with a glass of beer in her hand

As a beer drinker, I often had to prove myself to men (Image: Emmie Harrison-West)

Historic beer ads featuring busty whores and housewives serving cold beers to their hard-working husbands seem to have stuck in people’s minds, and names like Leg Spreader, Dizzy Blonde and Village Bike were banned from major beer festivals just five years ago.

And yet just last year, one brewery was told by an industry watchdog that its logo featuring a bare-breasted, bearded mermaid – promoting its Unshaven Maiden cider – was “too sexual.” Its slogan? “Search for the Cherry Treasure.” I don’t think I need to explain at length how dark that is.

As a result, the women in the original report stated that they did not like drinking beer even in the company of their male friends.

However, they reported that they felt comfortable drinking beer with other women because they felt they were not being judged.

That they were in a safe environment, were able to express their opinions about beer and felt better informed. That really says it all.

Emmie holding a glass of beer in front of a bar at a festival

I was insulted, harassed and sexually assaulted at beer festivals (Image: Emmie Harrison-West)

And, to be honest, I feel the same way.

As a beer drinker, I often had to prove myself in front of men. When I acted as a judge at beer competitions, I was mistaken for a student or a waitress.

I was separated from the men and seated at tables with only women. At beer festivals I was insulted, harassed and sexually assaulted. And all of this by men who thought I was there to entertain and serve them and not as a worthy drinking companion.

Perhaps worse, 70% of women surveyed strongly agreed or somewhat agreed that beer’s calorie content and negative health effects are also a barrier to beer consumption.

Basically, they were afraid of gaining weight, given society’s obsession with the female body and its constant need for women to remain perfect, prudish and stick-thin.

Emmie in a pub, with a beer in her hand

Beer is for everyone – it is not just a man’s drink (Image: Emmie Harrison-West)

I’m not exactly surprised, but I’m still deeply distressed that women choose not to drink something they like because they’re afraid of how it will make them look or what effect it might have on their bodies.

Yes, when I ordered a second pint, I received raised eyebrows and looks at my body from staff and guests, as if I should be watching my weight and health.

The male beer monsters with beer bellies only get a second look. They get a pint in their hand and a pat on the back.

Prescribed gender stereotypes must disappear. Sexist, outdated assumptions about women are deeply rooted in our culture and society – including in the beer and brewing industry.

Beer is for everyone – it’s not just a man’s drink, but the beer industry too often leaves women out. This has led to 67% of women strongly or somewhat agreeing that beer is for men – and 64% of men agree.

That’s because most men and women believe that beer isn’t for everyone. But it is. It’s simply a drink that men have kept to themselves for far too long.

Women are neither hired into management positions nor by breweries. Reports suggest that only three percent of breweries are female.

Let’s be honest: How are women supposed to feel happy, satisfied and comfortable drinking beer when the only women they see are being condescendingly treated behind the bar and not having a seat in the brewery?

Women are sexualized and marginalized in beverage marketing, harassed at unsafe beer festivals, and their abilities and worth are questioned. Nothing has changed for women in years, and it shows.

We need more male allies. People need to listen to women. Talk to us and ask questions about what we want and what we don’t want.

Because sadly not a single man in the pub, brewery or behind the bar has asked me what I would like to change or what would make me feel more confident. They are more interested in getting me behind the bar so they can stare at me while I work their taps.

I just want a damn pint without having to fight for it.

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