I’ve never been a beer girl. I like wearing black petticoats and sipping overpriced cocktails in dimly lit bars, or uncorking a bottle of wine in the comfort of my apartment that I probably chose because it has a pretty label. Although I’ve witnessed how satisfying cracking a beer can be for others, I’ve never been one to partake in it.

The “beer girl” cliché was perhaps best summed up by the 2014 film GoneGirl‘S iconic “Cool Girl Monologue”.

“Being the Cool Girl means I’m a hot, brilliant, witty woman who loves football, poker, dirty jokes and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer” and so on, rattles off protagonist Amy Dunne sarcastically. It’s essentially the same concept as the “pick-me-girl,” a more recent term that describes the archetype of the woman who defies female stereotypes in order to gain the approval of men. “I’m not like other girls,” you might say, scoffing at an invitation to open a bottle of rosé and watch The Bachelorette‘s home towns.

A beer girl doesn’t want an Instagrammable drink with a fancy garnish; she’s undemanding and wants whatever’s on tap. And honestly, I thought that was So I don’t.

From cocktail connoisseur to beer girl

In a culture where women can embrace contradictions — brat and demure, unsophisticated to be sophisticated — I tried becoming a beer drinker for a weekend when I visited Montauk, New York, with Heineken. I may not be playing in a poker game or making a fantasy football team anytime soon, but maybe I could learn to enjoy a beer now and then. This seemed like the perfect place to try out this lifestyle.

There, I threw all my preconceived ideas aside while chugging a few beers and learned that the “beer girl” was wrongly demonized.

It felt like my upscale version of the “shower beer” popular among fraternity students.

The brand’s latest launch, Heineken Silver, is said to taste less bitter than other products, making it ideal for beginners like me. It’s also a great option if you’re drinking for hours or want something that doesn’t feel like too much on hot days.

The mood check before the game

As I began my beer girl journey, I had to put it to the test – foreplay. Girls know there’s nothing better than having a little drink while you do your hair and makeup before a night on the town, and I wanted to see if a beer would help.

I opened a can while starting my makeup routine in my hotel room and immediately found it easy to drink (which isn’t something I can always say about my hand-poured drinks) and it was a smart move knowing it was 4% ABV. Plus, the fact that it wasn’t in a glass helped me avoid any clumsy mishaps that might happen when I was searching for an eyebrow pencil or fiddling with a hairdryer cord.

It felt like my elevated version of the “shower beer” beloved by sorority students, because drinking in the shower is gross in my opinion, and the preferred environment I have during my prep routine is anything but that. And since the Hamptons are the beach counterpart to Manhattan’s “city that never sleeps” attitude, the lower alcohol content was a power play, knowing I’d probably be drinking at two or three places over the course of the evening. (My Virgo moon was looking out for my future self.)

Doses of consistency

Over the course of the weekend, I also learned to appreciate the consistency of ordering beers. Whether I drank one while getting ready, sipped one around a campfire on the beach, ordered one with dinner, or ordered one later at a nightclub, they all tasted exactly the same. Ordering a cocktail can be a game of roulette—you never know if the bartender will have a heavy hand, if the mixers will be watered down, or if the garnish is what you’re looking for. Let’s ignore the number of times I wished for more olive brine in my dirty martini.

Opting for beer over my usual cocktails all weekend made me feel like an unassuming queen, and I noticed that the servers secretly loved it when our table ordered buckets of beer at a busy time of the evening instead of 10 different hyper-specific mixed drinks. Sure, maybe I didn’t get as many aesthetically pleasing snaps for my IG story and I wouldn’t drink a beer with every type of meal, but the benefits were clear.

Responsible alcohol consumption should always be a top priority, and with a lower alcohol content and lighter flavor, I was able to enjoy a few Heinekens during the day or while getting ready for the evening without feeling like I was setting myself up for a blurry morning after.

Why we completely misunderstood beer girls

Earlier this year, a trend went viral on TikTok that differentiated “beer girls” from their friends who prefer fruity drinks. In the videos, the friend who preferred a typical cocktail lip-synced a coy “meow” before the camera panned to her friend holding her favorite beer. The viral sound was used in more than 40,000 videos, with many users jokingly calling out their beer-drinking friends.

Although the trend slightly pokes fun at the idea of ​​a woman who prefers beer, it does a good job of confirming that both parties get the joke. As the internet keeps reminding us, we can all carry a variety of things inside of us.

The idea that women don’t often like beer isn’t just a pop culture stereotype (hello, Carrie and her Cosmos!), but a concept that’s supported, and likely perpetuated, by exclusion in the industry. It’s not that “beer girls” are hard to find; they’ve simply been left out of the conversation. In 2021, only 3% of the 9,000 breweries in the United States were entirely women-owned.

Beer advertisements that feature women as the main characters rather than as bikini-clad waitresses have sparked outrage among male beer drinkers on social media in recent years. For example, a Miller Lite ad released in 2023 during Women’s History Month that poked fun at the beer industry’s past misogyny did not sit well with some consumers. It’s no wonder women feel pushed out of beer until they get used to the taste, appreciate its variety and diversity, and realize they actually like it.

While I may not think I deserve the full title of “beer girl,” overall I can understand the appeal of opening a cold beer on a hot summer day and knowing exactly what flavor you’re getting. And the vibe can’t be beat—a beer on the beach, at a sports game, or even while sitting at my vanity perfecting my eyeliner before hanging out with my girlfriends could be my new go-to. And if I don’t want to completely ditch my booze-ordering side, I can always go for a classic New York beer and shot combo. After all, beauty lies in duality.