Friends, Romans, fellow countrymen, lend me your ears; I came to bury Jono, not to praise him… Excuse me, what? He’s actually still alive? Miraculously, Jono turns out to be immortal and survives another week. But first, Medicane Daniel sends Aesha, Nathan, and the guests back to the boat, where they’re stuck inside. I notice that there are no welcome drinks waiting for them, suggesting that Aesha has to do everything for her team. She single-handedly entertains the guests by improvising a wine tasting, which is really just a pretentious way of saying “drink a lot of wine.”

The theme tonight is merpeople, so Jono decides to go with seafood. That seems almost cannibalistic to me. Ariel would never eat Sebastian or Flounder, would she? Although one of her merpeople costumes includes a pair of rubber balls dangling from her ankles, I don’t think anyone thinks too much about it. As always, Aesha loves the gag. She says that anyone who knows her well knows that she loves balls. That’s a great template for a misdirection joke that she loves basketballs, but no, she loves her fiancé Scott’s balls. I really didn’t need to know that.

At dinner, I am left reeling when Jono serves everyone tuna carpaccio, even though he knows full well that Jennifer doesn’t eat raw seafood. Jennifer is incredibly calm about it and even says that it looks beautiful. One of the other guests asks, “Why can’t you eat it?” To which she replies, “It could kill me,” and laughs. Sometimes all you can do in an uncomfortable situation is laugh. Due to an iron overload, also known as hemochromatosis, Jennifer can only eat cooked seafood, and it has been on her wish list several times. This is like a blow to the heart of Jono’s career, and it gets worse: Captain Sandy is the one who checks with the guests and spots the mistake. Now that’s a shot in the head.

This is grounds for termination that has never happened to Sandy before. I’m a little surprised she lets Aesha get off scot-free. The head steak usually double checks everything, but he’s too caught up and misses it. When Sandy confronts Jono, he hilariously blathers that some people say if you use a lot of lime, the fish “cooks”. Sandy: “Nope. ❤️” She contacts Norma at the yacht crew placement agency to look for a new chef to start ASAP. At least the head chef, Pamela, is too drunk to care about this attempted manslaughter, so it won’t affect the tip. It’s time to cut her off as Aesha feeds her a train fork. Pam’s dead eyes show the train has left the station.

Jono may have had the worst night, but it’s a rough night for everyone inside. Bri can’t find her black evening gown, which brings her to tears. Aesha works 18 hours straight – hello, bravo? I want to report a possible labor law violation – and still has to remind Ellie to put away the bar towels. Ellie doesn’t think nagging is good management style, and her irritability only increases the next morning because she overslept. Ellie also accidentally leaves her phone in a guest room. For a moment, I thought the guest was seeing something they shouldn’t, but the phone itself is a big no-no. Aesha says she shouldn’t have her phone on her at all while she’s working. Instead of admitting she still has room to improve, Ellie feels like she’s being taken for granted. Aesha hopes a fourth steward will solve all her problems, and now that the leak in the extra crew cabin is fixed, Sandy is ready to hire one. Aesha is thrilled with this news. I bet the employment lawyers and accountants who calculate her overtime are, too.

The next day, the weather is clear enough to head out to sea and do some water sports. Gael and Joe argue about where to moor the jet skis and Joe thinks it’s because she doesn’t like him telling her what to do. I think it’s because deep down Joe doesn’t like that she chose Nathan, showed him no interest and immediately sees through how he fools the initiated. Likewise, I doubt he would be so nice about Bri missing one of his polo shirts if he didn’t still want to sleep with her. Bri, for her part, tries to keep her distance from Joe and resist temptation by imagining him as an old man. Is it the eyebrows or is anyone else imagining Joe as Carl? High?

The Mustique goes back to the marina that evening to celebrate Janie and Steve’s 25th wedding anniversary with a black-and-white theme and fireworks. Jono knows his job is hanging by a thread, so he double-checks the dinner wish lists and makes sure everything is cooked for Jennifer. His octopus and king crab bruschetta go down well, but dessert is a disappointment. Obviously Jono should have triple-checked their wishes, because they were hoping for a crème brûlée or a soufflé. Instead, he put ice cream on a cookie on a piece of cake. Honestly, I’d eat it in a heartbeat, but Aesha and Janie don’t consider it an anniversary. If he got fired for the tuna, the cookie was the nail in his coffin. Or should we say the cardamom in his Mexican food? Jono is even more dejected than a failed soufflé.

Yet Jono rises from the dead to make beignets for breakfast. It seems like they are a last gasp, as Sandy calls Jono to the bridge after the charter, ready to fire him. Only Norma can’t find an available cook right now. Jono’s hand erupts from the ground: He’s alive! Sandy asks why he chose a biscuit, and he admits it was easier after a demanding dinner. Right now, Sandy would rather have a subpar cook than no cook at all, as she doesn’t want a repeat of the Matthew debacle from Season 6. As a viewer, I would love to see the crew try to cook, but I understand the decision. And forget the aftershow; give Norma her own spinoff at the agency.

At the meeting at the top, Sandy praises the crew for putting in so much energy despite the port location. They’ll be rewarded with $25,000; and even better, the new stewardess will be boarding today. Joe is thrilled to hear the news, while Ellie is all pissed off. Aesha initiates a cabin reshuffle: Iain gets the single cabin, Bri moves to Jono, Gael moves back to Aesha, and the new girl will sleep with Ellie. She’s like a little kid who just found out she’s going to be a big sister and is upset about it. I’m looking forward to Ellie’s reaction when she sees that the new stewardess is a blonde in a catsuit. That’s basically Ellie’s thing!