The six most common dying phenomena you experience before you die
The thought of death can be daunting and it is never easy to watch loved ones die.
But there are six telltale signs that death is approaching, and some of them can be strangely comforting, says hospice nurse Julie McFadden.
The 41-year-old lives in Los Angeles and spends her time in palliative care. She reports on the common dying phenomena that she observes in her patients.
Not everyone will experience all of them – but chances are you will experience one or two of them.
“It’s really hard to believe that something like this actually happens,” Julie says in her YouTube video, “but we see it a lot.”
Terminal clarity
The final clarity is also called “recovery” or “rise.”
“This happens when someone who looks very sick suddenly gets a burst of energy and seems to be getting better,” Julie explains in her video.
Doctors don’t know why this happens, but there are theories. According to nurse Julie, some believe a surge in cortisol wakes them up, or maybe it’s the hormones.
About a third of all of Julie’s hospice patients experience this, and she wants people to be aware of it so they can enjoy time with their loved ones while they get that boost of energy – but also prepare for the end.
“In terminal lucidity, it looks like someone is going to die very soon. Then suddenly they get a burst of energy, they’re fine, they’re having a really great day, they’re suddenly hungry and suddenly they’re able to walk again – are very alert and oriented – and then they die, usually after a day or two,” she says.
“That can be the difficult part. You think they’re getting better, but you don’t know it’s happening, and then they die, which can be devastating.”
If a loved one’s seizure lasts longer than a day or two, it is probably not terminal lucidity.
Visions
“Visions are wild,” says Julie, who believes they are the most talked about of all the dying phenomena we experience.
Visioning is not about hallucinations and psychosis, or seeing things because of mental illness. That is different from what we are talking about here.
“This happens to many people, it is always reassuring and the person is almost always awake and oriented,” she explains.
“People always say, ‘Oh, it’s the medication or the lack of oxygen,’ or ‘You’re just confused,’ but … for most people with vision problems, none of those things are the case.”
“Usually this happens a few weeks before death. They can then get up and have a normal conversation with their family and say that they see their dead father in the corner, smiling and telling them that he will come and get them soon and they don’t have to worry.”
The best thing you can do as a family member when you witness your loved one having visions is to “just accept it,” advises the nurse.
She says people usually have a vision about a month before they die.
Decide when you die
“I’ve seen some extreme cases of it,” says Julie. “People have told me, ‘I’m going to die tonight, I know it, I can feel it,’ and then it happens.”
She says there are times when people wait until everyone is there to say goodbye and then die. Some people even choose to wait until everyone is gone to die.
“Some people wait until an important milestone is reached, like a birthday or a wedding… they stay alive because they want to reach that day and then their body finally lets go,” says Julie.
Not everyone does this, but Julie sees it often enough that she wants people to know about it.
According to the nurse, the decision about the time of death is also influenced by your personality.
“Someone who really cares about friends and family and is the matriarch of the family will be the one who waits… they will probably wait until everyone is there before they die,” she explains.
“Someone who is very private and independent will wait until everyone has left, or, if he is very protective, he will die when everyone has left.”
Death reaches
Sometimes visualization goes hand in hand with what is called “death range.”
“It happens when a person is lying in bed and reaches into the air, almost as if they are seeing someone or reaching out to hug or shake someone’s hand,” Julie explains.
This can also continue for a long period of time. Again, medical professionals don’t necessarily know why this happens, but it is normal.
The Death Star
According to nurse Julie, the death stare and the death grip often go together.
“It usually looks like someone is staring into the corner or the side of the room, definitely looking intently at something,” she explains.
“If you snap your fingers in their face or try to say their name to get them out of their situation, they won’t do it until they’re ready.”
They may suddenly return to the room and this can happen whether they are awake and oriented or not.
The shared experience of death
This is the phenomenon that affected Julie the most, namely, when “someone who does not die, feels, sees or understands what is happening to the dying person.’
She explains: “It’s as if the dying person is communicating to you what they are going through.”
This sounds pretty daunting, but in Julie’s experience it’s almost always a good thing.
“People tell me it gave them a feeling of freedom and joy and told them they were doing well and they couldn’t believe how great it was,” she says.
“If you were in your room and suddenly knew your grandmother had died and you called your mother and she said, ‘Yes, she just died,’ that could be a shared death experience – you kind of just know what’s happening.”
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