VANCOUVER, British Columbia — Legendary music journalist Nardwuar was gently but sternly escorted out of a gentlemen’s club last night for addressing artists by their real names, confirmed sources who felt he had gone too far this time.

“It took me completely by surprise,” Nardwuar noted, still hurt. “Usually, the people I interview love it when I brag about how much research I did on them, but I guess that sort of thing is looked down upon here. Even after interviewing Henry Rollins or Sonic Youth, I didn’t feel that down. I had planned the whole thing where I would tell them their 23andMe results, their shoe size, and the name of their firstborn child, but that was before they started kicking me out.”

In addition to disclosing confidential information, employees also expressed their discomfort with Human Serviette’s habit of giving gifts.

“Sure, it’s a nice gesture, and I needed a new bra anyway,” said dancer LeeAnn Thomason. “I just found it a little off-putting that he got me one that fit perfectly. I asked him, ‘How the hell do you know my size?’ and he said, ‘You’re Sinnamon Angel, we need to know!’ I think he meant it as a compliment, but it came across as kind of creepy. And it didn’t help that right afterward he tried to stuff a vinyl record by a soul band called Dogfart down my thong.”

While the expulsion of such a prominent figure as Nardwuar from a club certainly raised eyebrows, for some employees it was just business as usual.

“I didn’t understand what all the fuss was about,” said Todd Strickland, who has been the club’s bouncer for more than a decade. “Nobody told me he was a celebrity. He had a weird, nervous energy and I could barely understand what he was saying; I just thought he was from Quebec. I wouldn’t have treated him any differently if I’d known who he was anyway. I always keep a close eye on anyone who comes in here wearing a beret. I can tell you from experience that guys wearing berets usually mean no good.”

At press time, eyewitnesses reported that Nardwuar was still standing in the parking lot, shouting “doot doo da loot doot” to the dancers who were hurrying out of the building.