“Given the aura of spiritual control that both men like to exude, there is nothing Zen-like about the dynamic between them.”

A weak and unstable swell characterized the final day in Cloudbreak. People were smiling, as is usual in Fiji, and no one seemed to really care that important heats were once again being held in subpar conditions.

Joe Turpel was puppy-like as ever, happily barking in the fresh air. Kaipo Guerrero wondered how he could relate surfing to 18mm OSB. Felicity Palmateer was content to simply say “Wow” regardless of the question or incident.

And Jonathan Warren looked into the distance and wondered why everyone kept asking him about the weather and when he would be able to play Pokémon Go in peace again.

The day began with a duel between close friends Jack Robinson and Yago Dora in a heat that Dora had to win to secure his place in the Final Five.

Dora looked fluid and controlled, but Robinson’s patience paid off as he took priority control of the best wave of the heat and surfed it to a mid-six.

There were no more waves. Dora spent the last few minutes of the heat sitting down, unable to surf. It was a devastating defeat that was disheartening for both the fans and himself.

But as we now know, the best surfers don’t always win. Dora was kind enough to give AJ McCord an interview afterwards and didn’t mince her words.

“Surfing is sometimes not about surfing,” he said dejectedly. “With all due respect to Jack, I felt like I surfed better than him during the whole event.”

He wasn’t wrong.

And so it comes to pass that Yago Dora and Gabriel Medina will not be performing at Trestles. For me, these men are clearly among the top five surfers in the world and are certainly the most versatile. They have skills that could electrify Trestles and without them it would lack momentum.

Rio Waida defeated Imaikalaini deVault in the next quarter, then Ewing defeated Barron Mamiya in the following.

Waida’s cheerful and light-footed approach not only suited the conditions in Cloudbreak, but also brought him a well-deserved success. It is clear that only a few kilos are holding him back from regular finals participation.

Thanks to his much-vaunted technique, Ewing was able to extract strength from weak periods in both his quarterfinal and semifinal loss to Waida.

“Extreme biomechanics,” said Kaipo. “Extreme fundamentals.”

“If you’re on the best wave out there today and surf it well, you’ll win,” said Flick.

Ewing seemed to have the semi-final firmly in hand, holding a nine and a low six, but Waida conjured a mid-seven from an unlikely wave near the end under Ewing’s priority. That was enough to turn the game around, and Ewing had done nothing wrong.

More interesting, however, was the opposing semifinal and the budding rivalry between Griffin Colapinto and Jack Robinson, the feuding baby gurus of the WCT.

It’s an odd fight considering how much both men give the impression of mental self-possession and mastery of the mind, but maybe that’s the problem. Each has portrayed themselves that way and hates the other because of it.

If I had to guess, I’d say they’re both so insecure about the cubic centimeters between their ears and their supposed control over them that they’re terrified the other is real and afraid of being exposed as charlatans.

Be that as it may, there is nothing Zen-like about the dynamic between them.

The first hint of this rivalry was seen the day before during a post-run interaction caught on camera. They supposedly said “Good job,” but each whispered “I hate you” to themselves. It was like two freaks at a school disco dancing to the Ghostbusters theme song.

We found out that the rivalry was sparked in part by Colapinto’s victory over Robinson at Sunset Beach.

In a rare moment of candor, Griffin revealed that he and Jack were only slightly different in their behavior. Jack played games, he said. Tried to get inside his head. He was open and honest and liked to look a man in the eye. Jack, on the other hand, avoided eye contact.

Colapinto claimed that Robinson would paddle close to him at sunset and stand on his board to intimidate him. In response, he would imitate those actions, and Jack didn’t like that.

Before their clash tonight, Griffin hugged him. It was very AI vs. Slater. But Robinson wasn’t having it. He grabbed a handful of Colapinto’s rashie and shoved him past, eyes cold and unflinching.

In contrast, Griffin beamed as he walked in front of the camera. He was winning the game and he knew it.

And so it was in the water. Colapinto was cool and had the heat under control from the start. Robinson stayed calm, kept his priority for a long time in his usual way and hoped that the ocean would deliver as it often does.

But the turning point of the heat was a tactical masterstroke by Griffin after he paddled far up the reef, into a sub-par wave and forced Jack to take off and lose priority with six minutes to go. On a different day, against a different opponent, Robinson might have let him go. It’s clear that Colapinto is on his mind.

The final between Rio Waida and Colapinto seemed to be a fait accompli in favor of the higher ranked and far more experienced surfer, and that’s more or less what it was. Waida did his best, but Griff had everything under control. And quite frankly, the waves were bad.

And of course Erin Brooks cannot be left unmentioned. Divine providence aside, her turns already seem faster and more critical than any other surfer I can think of. She is certainly a world champion in the making and an exciting prospect for the future of the women’s tour and the abundance of young talent that is here and ready.

Cheers, Tyler Wright et al.

But the day would not have been complete, no competition would have been complete, no, not five minutes of any surfing broadcast would ever be complete without Kelly Slater.

Slater was omnipresent again. Inexplicably, he replaced Stace Galbraith as coach and caddy for Erin Brooks and stood there, bald, in the middle.

Is this the next step in Kelly’s attempt to stay in the spotlight and refuse to go quietly?
Clinging to a seventeen-year-old phenomenon that seems destined to define the history of professional surfing for a long time seems like a surefire way to stay relevant.

In an interview while sitting at Brooks’ tiny backup board in the canal, he claimed he had “talked to her quite a bit” throughout the year.

So it’s surprising that when asked how she felt about Kelly caddying for her, training her, and adopting her, Brooks replied, “Actually, I didn’t even know Kelly was there.”

Joe Turpel remained undaunted and continued to call him Coach Kelly.

This unsolicited in loco parentis contains, of course, deep irony, since Slater was unfamiliar with the banality and obscurity of changing his young son’s diaper.

I’m just baffled that he didn’t announce his son’s name in the moments after Erin’s win. And honestly, I can’t wait to see what he has in store for Brooks’ first world title.

And have you seen the Grom to Goat package? The iconic highlight video where surfing greats gushed over a montage of Kelly’s career that seriously made me wonder if he died during a Bonsoy beer break?

The word “embarrassed” does not do it justice.

Anyway, we’ll see him at Trestles somehow.

And that’s all we have left from this season.

John is number one, then Griff, Jack, Ethan and Italo. In the end, there were no restructurings.

I have to admit that I’m not overly excited, but that may be because the more Joe and Kaipo etc. tell us how exciting it’s going to be, the less I believe it.

But I hope Jonathon Warren will be there. I heard there are super rare Pokémon to be found on the cobblestones.