Sun Dance Ceremonies (on websites like the one shown above in a public domain image posted on Wikimedia Commons) are not He-Man contests. It’s OK if someone can’t go on and their family is begging you to get their loved one out, then you should do that or at least try to convince the person to go out if they are so weak that they need to be dragged.

This event cost a community good young warrior and will most likely scare away other good young warriors who might have come forward to pray for the people.

And now four children – who would have grown up in a traditional household with good parents – must try to survive in a world made so much more uncertain and painful by the loss of their father.

You probably won’t find two people who completely agree on how the whole thing should have been handled and who, if anyone, is to blame.

My Sun Dance leader says, “If I die during the ceremony, that’s OK. At least I died doing what I love. And where better to start my journey than in the Sun Dance circle?”

But it must also be said that my Sundance leader is now an old man. His children are grown up and are no longer as dependent on him as they once were. I understand how he feels. When I am an old man, I may feel the same way. But right now I am a father of five children, all of whom still depend on me, not only financially but also for guidance and support.

The Young man’s wife and children We still need Him, and no matter how we feel, we should stop and remember that.

Kevin Abourezk is deputy editor of Indian Country Today and an award-winning film producer who has spent his 24-year journalistic career documenting the lives, achievements and tragedies of Native Americans. He holds a bachelor’s degree in English from the University of South Dakota and a master’s degree in journalism from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.