This is how I raise children: We taught our little daughters pole dancing – but critics say we are bad parents
Welcome back to How I Parent, where we talk to families about how they raise their children.
This week we hear from pole dancers Lindsey Teall and Jake Night and their daughters Rosalyn, nine, and Alaura, eleven.
The couple met while working as dancers and passed this talent on to their children.
Now the family is doing pole dancing together. Lindsey and Jake say it’s making their children more outgoing while also becoming mentally and physically stronger – but not everyone is so supportive.
The use of poles as an aid in sports actually has a long history. Mallakhamb (a type of Indian gymnastics on a vertical pole) has been practiced since the 12th century and was even part of the 1936 Olympic Games in Berlin. Poles have also been used in European circus acts since the 19th century.
But for many, pole dancing conjures up images of performers in bikinis. Although pole dancing is incredibly difficult to master, it has become synonymous with sex. In fact, both Lindsey and Jake have worked as erotic dancers themselves.
Because of this, the couple have received death threats from people who object to their young daughters’ pole dancing. They have been accused of being bad parents – but Lindsey is firmly convinced that they have done nothing wrong.
She says people are “narrow-minded” and she wants to remove the “stigma” attached to pole dancing, which she describes as an “art form”. She is determined to prove that pole dancing is not just for clubs – but that it is a sport in itself.
And she’s not wrong – pole is a sport that is gaining traction around the world, and the International Pole Sports Federation (IPSF) was founded in 2009 with the goal of bringing the sport Olympic recognition. According to the IPSF, there are currently 3,000 athletes worldwide competing at the Olympic level.
What do you wear for pole dancing?
Whether you’ve seen someone pole dancing on stage, at the circus, or at the gym, you’ve probably noticed one thing: the person doesn’t seem to be wearing much clothing.
But there is actually a reason for this. Bare skin offers much better support on the pole than soft fabrics, which is why the actresses are often seen wearing only shorts and a sports bra.
You also want your clothes to fit snugly so you don’t have to worry about excess fabric getting in the way.
However, showing up to a pole dancing class in your underwear can be quite daunting, and in any class you are welcome to wear your usual workout clothes to begin with.
The 38-year-old, who lives in St. Louis, Missouri, says: “The girls have been pole dancing since they were very small. Alaura started when she was two years old and Roz was eight months old.”
“I was teaching classes at the studio and she was pulling herself up on the bar.
“The pole was their playground and they learned for so many years that they are now as well trained as some adult professionals. I even did pole dancing when I was pregnant with them.”
Lindsey and Jake now no longer work in clubs but pursue pole dancing as a form of exercise – they also teach pole dancing and compete in competitions. The family is proficient in many aerial acrobatics, including hammock and scarves, hoop, pole and even trapeze.
Lindsey, who studied dance at a college level, says: “The girls are like any other kid, they just want to do things that are fun, but what they enjoy is hoop and barre.”
“When they work, they work really hard.”
“They do a lot of exercise sporadically throughout the day because they like to jump on the bar. They probably spend about two hours a day doing it.”
“We don’t decide what they should do, they decide for themselves. We are there to make sure they do it right. We give them guidance, show them tricks and how to do things safely.
“I’m worried about them getting injured and they don’t try new tricks on their own, but so far everything’s fine and I can supervise their training at home.”
Jake, 42, adds: “With Lindsey’s dance background and my training in gymnastics and acrobatics, they were always going to be active kids.”
“Due to their young age, they have quickly acquired new skills and are now at an intermediate to advanced level.”
“If they want to do it as a career, they are far superior to everyone else and there are adults who ask them to teach them tricks. But they don’t have to do it.”
Jake adds that the training has boosted the girls’ confidence. “It’s the ‘if I can do this, I can do anything’ mentality,” he explains. “Learning to hang upside down from a bar takes time, effort and patience, and you can transfer that to anything you want to do in life.”
Thanks to their decades of dance experience, the family has contacts in the industry and so the girls were asked to lead courses or workshops for other young pole dancers.
And Alaura and Roz are proud of their achievements.
Alaura says: “All our friends are impressed by our abilities.”
But Lindsey disagrees. She says: “Some of her friends are influenced by their parents and are therefore quite narrow-minded.”
When the family launched their social media channel five years ago, they were surprised by the backlash they received.
Lindsey says: “People saw us pole dancing together as a family and we got death threats. People had a lot of preconceived ideas and beliefs about what we did and still do to some extent.”
At first, people threatened to report the family to child welfare services and take the children away from them. The threats came to nothing. Lindsey says that the judgments of others contributed to her decision to homeschool the girls.
She says: “I wanted them to maintain their innocence for as long as possible and not be influenced by the attitudes of others with more conservative views.”
“Currently, Alaura wants to run her own daycare and Rosalyn wants to work with animals, but if they decide against it, they have a good skill to fall back on.”
And the group enjoys appearing together for their social media channels.
Jake says: “We like to perform as a family, but as with everything, the girls are pretty independent in what they do.”
“We are trying to get them to perform together, but there is a lot of rivalry between the siblings!”
Lindsey’s eldest son Aiden from a previous relationship also enjoyed dancing before he decided to live with his father – a decision that Lindsey takes very calmly.
She says: “We never force the children to do anything they don’t want to do. It’s entirely up to them. We just want them to have fun and learn to follow their own path.”
“Five years ago we were leaders, we were pioneers and we had to endure a lot of criticism. Now more and more children are starting to pole dance and I am very happy to see that.
“We see more children being physically active. This is great and removes the stigma that still surrounds pole dancing.”
The family moves back and forth between the Midwest and Texas, where the girls attend a circus school.
And their social media is full of videos of the girls enthusiastically practicing various skills or participating in competitions and performances.
Rosalyn adds, “I just ignore the haters. Pole taught me how to do backflips without getting too scared.”
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